“My pregnancy saved my life”

Pregnant with her first child, Virgilia is crazy about joy … until the day when she is diagnosed with breast cancer. As she carries life, she flirts with death.

6 months pregnant, Virgilia learns that she suffers from aggressive cancer. She tells, with force and sincerity, how she experienced this extraordinary ordeal during her pregnancy.

The shock of diagnosis

“It was the day before Christmas. In 2022. I arrived at my sixth month of pregnancy and everything was going perfectly. I had a routine date with my gynecologist. I was impatient to see my baby again, to hear her little heart. I was delighted that it was a girl. We had already chosen her first name: Lena-Rose. It was my first baby and I was on a little cloud … During the exam, the gynecologist A ball.

At the beginning of January, here I am at the radiologist. As soon as the exam was finished, she takes her phone: ‘I would like an emergency biopsy for a pregnant woman’. I ask, ‘What is a biopsy?’… ‘It is an examination which consists in taking a little fabric in a tumor to analyze it’. ‘A tumor? I have a tumor? ‘. ‘Don’t worry, madam, it can be benign’. See you a fortnight later for the results. The radiologist looks at me with compassion: ‘This is what we feared … cancer.’ Cancer? It’s a mistake! I can’t have cancer when I’m waiting for a baby! Words telescop in my head. I’m going to give life and I am announced death! I’m going to have a baby and he will lose his mom …

Why me? I am 32 years old and no history. Is it because of my job with offbeat hours? Is it linked to the emotional shock of the death of my grandpa? He died during the covid and we could not say goodbye to him. Is it because of the pill that I have been taking for years? At the first meeting, the oncologist reassures me: ‘You are there for nothing. This is the fault of luck. It’s rare, but it happens’. He explains to me that my cancer is very aggressive. You have to start chemotherapy without delay. ‘Say, doctor, do you know I’m pregnant? It can’t wait for childbirth ‘. The answer is no …

In 3 months, I risk developing metastases. My life is in danger. In a way, I am lucky: if we had discovered this cancer a few months later, it might have been too late. I was lucky to be pregnant. I was also lucky that my gynecologist took my breasts, because most do not do it with a pregnant woman. My daughter has not yet been born that she has already saved my life! ”

Pregnancy goes into the background

Virgilia is entitled to the all inclusive formula, as she says: “Chemo, operation, radiotherapy, complementary chemo if necessary, then hormone therapy for minimum 5 years. It is treated well, a breast cancer: I heard this little sentence of the mouths of loved ones who wanted to be kind and comforting. But when you are in full treatment, with all side effects, I am not so simple! I was climbing 2 mountains at the same time: cancer and maternity.

My first chemo took place at the end of January. Everything was going so fast that my pregnancy went a bit in the background. I noticed it around me: my loved ones no longer asked me for the baby’s news, but from my tumor. It was unfair to Lena-Rose: this little girl had asked nothing. It was also unfair for me: I was stolen the end of my pregnancy. Very quickly, I tried to resume my routine: massage my belly with oil, talk to my daughter, make her listen to music … In short, share small moments of happiness without thinking of the disease. ”

Psychological sequelae?

“I obviously asked myself the question of the impact of all this on my baby. Since the beginning of pregnancy, I had prohibited the slightest drop of alcohol, the slightest medication … And now I found myself under chemo! The doctors explained to me that the treatment presented no risk for my daughter, that she was protected by the placentaire barrier. The ultrasounds showed. His well-being? We say to pregnant women that their baby feels all their emotions. Lena-Rose felt the shock at the announcement of the diagnosis, then anger, sadness, anxiety … Wasn’t she risking keeping psychological sequelae?

Doctors had no answer to this question. They didn’t even sit down. They were focused on the treatment of cancer. But I needed answers. Need to reassure me. So, I went to the web. I came across a program where a lady testified to a story similar to mine. She was optimistic, bright … But when I clicked on the comments, I had a shock. She had died since! This is what awaited me… ”

An adventure in pairs

“Fortunately, I got to know Justine. This young mother had undergone 8 chemos during her pregnancy. It was 3 years ago. And her little girl was healthy. It reassured me for my Lena-Rose. Because it was still a sacred ordeal for her! Impossible to hide anything from her, she lived everything with me. Pregnancy.

And it was she who decided on her birth … The doctors had planned to trigger the delivery between the second and the third chemo, at a time when I would have enough immune defenses to bear it. I received a laconic email indicating the date on which I would become mom. Childbirth would be just a medical appointment among others. It was awful. Once again, cancer was flying my pregnancy! But nothing went as planned … ”

The smile of life

“Lena-Rose decided to point her nose a few days before the date fixed. It was wonderful. Unfortunately, I couldn’t take care of her as I would have liked. I was sick, exhausted. And ban on breastfeeding her! I felt it like a terrible failure. A betrayal. My daughter had been there for me during all these months, and I was not there for her … And barely 2 weeks after childbirth, I was back in chemo, then there was the operation. During all this time, my spouse took over. As well as grandparents, friends, then the nanny. My daughter was in good hands, but I feared that she forgot me. That she does not know who her mom is. Sometimes I wore a scarf, sometimes a wig … did she recognize me?

Today, with hindsight, I realize that my fears were irrational. My daughter is 2 years old and she is doing perfectly. Me? I am always under treatment. But when I see Lena-Rose’s smile, I can only believe in life. ”

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