It’s not easy to find fulfilling sexuality after childbirth: the couple must get back on their feet while the mother tries to reclaim her own body.
When you have given birth, you ask yourself a lot of questions about your sexuality: “Will I get my libido back? And him?”, “How does it actually happen, the first time after childbirth?”, “Do we necessarily have pain after an episiotomy?”: so many questions that parents do not dare to ask, in partly because society tends to make us believe that nothing changes in terms of the body and desire after birth. However, many couples see their sexuality turned upside down.
Also read: Postpartum sexuality: 3 resource books
Your sexuality in 5 questions
We have collected the questions that future and young parents commonly ask themselves about their sexuality.
How long before making love again?
Whether the birth took place vaginally or by cesarean section, it is important to wait a few weeks to resume sexual activity. Specialists advise a delay of six weeks before practicing penetration, especially if you gave birth vaginally. The ideal is therefore to wait for the green light from your gynecologist, who will examine the young mother to check that everything is healing well, particularly in the event of an episiotomy or possible sutures.
- Can’t wait that long before considering a relationship? Think about massages, caresses and foreplay, which will allow you to enjoy the moment without risk and to reclaim your sexuality without practicing penetration.
Should I re-muscle my perineum?
After pregnancy and childbirth, the perineum takes a hit: the muscles that go from the pubis to the coccyx have relaxed and the ligaments have become distended, from being used for nine months, and during childbirth. This is why it is essential to strengthen your perineum after giving birth. Even years later…
- To tone your perineum, there is only one secret: post-natal rehabilitation. It prevents incontinence and allows you to find pleasure more quickly during the act. You will need to follow several sessions, accompanied by a physiotherapist, and continue the exercises at home. Hypopressive abs really help!
I suffer from vaginal dryness, what should I do?
It often happens that young mothers suffer from vaginal dryness after giving birth, this is due to hormonal changes. Result: making love can be uncomfortable, even downright painful. If this is the case, consider using a water-based lubricant, as neutral as possible, for better lubrication of the erogenous zones.
- Does this continue? It will be necessary to consult a specialist (gynecologist, midwife, etc.).
Will we get our sex life back?
Finding satisfactory sexual activity after baby requires patience, communication and gentleness. Sex can be a little chaotic at first, like the first time you have sex. So forget what you have experienced so far in bed and reinvent your sex life according to the reality of your new body, on the one hand, and your mind, on the other. You have to deal with fatigue, stress, lack of self-confidence…
- A word of advice: no pressure! Taking care of your baby, recovering physically from childbirth, finding your feet as parents, coping with short and choppy nights… This generates a lot of fatigue, which often takes you away from your deep desires and needs. Add to that the fact that we are often afraid of hurting ourselves or getting hurt… and that’s the end of relationships for a while. The first months postpartum, your priority will be to recreate an intimacy that suits you both, with your new reality as parents. Think above all about hugs and tenderness, discover a new emotional and sexual complicity, and know how to laugh at the little hiccups that will stand in your way. If you have difficulty regaining fulfilled sexuality after the birth of a baby, and only if it bothers you/worries you, do not hesitate to make an appointment with a specialist: a gynecologist for mechanical problems, a sexologist for psychological problems (blockages, fears, reduced or absence of libido, etc.).
Also read: Netflix: the best sexy series to raise the temperature
Should we provide contraception quickly?
A newborn is undoubtedly the best contraceptive in the world: between sleepless nights and babies, we don’t necessarily have the time or the desire to make love. But contrary to popular belief, it is entirely possible to get pregnant when you are breastfeeding or before your first period returns. To avoid an unwanted pregnancy, you must therefore be careful.
- Talk about it right after the birth. First with your partner (condom, pill, IUD, vasectomy, who takes care of what?), as well as your gynecologist, in order to consider contraception that may suit you if you are responsible for it.
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The post Postpartum sex: why is it a hassle? appeared first on Femmes d’Aujourd’hui.
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